Gulaab Gang Vs Queen !!!!

Two movies focused on women , one emphasizes the power of women and the other depicts the journey of a woman who goes from being naive and protected to attaining self-esteem and becoming independent. Which is my favorite??? The latter!

Women power is highly overrated and Gulaab Gang stinks from male chauvinistic ideas and view points. I mean really? A woman centered movie doesn't have to be the exact translation of a typical hero movie or is it? This movie is as stylish as it can get with all the unnatural characters. The only motive behind making this movie seems to be glorifying the leading lady. The fighting sequences are Indianized Chinese fights with well fitted costumes and choreographed action sequences. Watching Gulaab Gang was watching any movie with the same formula and heroism. It was far from liberating women and empowering them. On the whole it was very very disappointing.  

Queen was the movie of the weekend and it just blew my mind. Kangana was as real as she could get. It was actually different from typical Bollywood movies where the leading lady transforms from wearing salwar kameez to western clothes (read revealing) symbolizing filmy progressive behavior.  On the contrary, Kangana didn't become one of them. I was happy for once, having rampant sex wasn't the sign of progress, wearing revealing clothes didn't advocate the change in behavior. Whatever happened was part of the personality and not of display. Thank god, finally somebody got it right! Self-esteem , self reliability, self-respect are not aggressive qualities , they can be as subtle as shown in the movie and still be strong. 

P.S: (for women), the only glamorous factor was Sikander (or Alexander?). So far the only Russian I knew was Vodka and now I know one more ;-)

I proved Newton wrong !

You know how we learn to speak for first 3 to 10 years of our life and then spend rest of our life learning how to shut up, does anyone else find it difficult too or is it just me? This 'shut-up' technique looks simple but as the saying goes, it is deceptive, right? Those, who have said wise things, are not dependable either as they don't tell you the technique but only give you the end result, so much like life itself. As it is life is such a hard teacher, she gives you the test results first and then the lessons !


I have stopped trying to be wise now-a-days. Newton did say that the action and reaction are equal and opposite but he was so wrong. You try to do something wise and in turn you end up looking twice stupid. Aha, Professor Newton, proved your theory wrong.... SCORE!!!! So I'm doing the next best thing now, trying not to look stupid. And how does that look so far? That's a potboiler for my next post probably.

When do you kick yourself more, When you don't say anything or when you say something and look like a errrr,what's the word, Loser? Actually we all have a Savior right inside us and that's why they say 'cross your heart' when you are saying something.That Savior is hanging inside by your tongue and shoving it through your epiglottis so that you swallow it. But as it is always the case, there should be a Satan inside too. Since he feeds on your dilemma ,he gets bigger and bigger each time you are feeling something like that. And then what follows becomes history ,etched in your memory, green greener and greenest forever !!!!!


Huh, by the way, Satan is double powerful and is directly proportional to the stupidity showcased ! 

The masters who know what Moms need to do !!!!!

Some people master the art of getting on people's nerves very well. The mastering quality is directly proportional to the sadist inside them I believe. 

You know it becomes so difficult to enjoy anything without thinking about your kid even once as it is and to top it all, there are people who constantly make you feel guilty for doing something that makes you happy. It's like if you are a mom then having fun or being happy for your own reasons is like a sin. It's like a rule that your actions and happiness should depend solely on your child once you become a mom.

A couple of years ago, we went to a wedding on a week day morning after sending our son to school. One of our friends who was also there asked me where my son was? I told him that he was at school and he couldn't believe that we didn't take our then 3 year old son to a wedding! I failed to understand the holistic point behind it. Sometimes I wonder how other people (including men) know so much about what a mom needs to do 'to and with' her child than the one who carried it in the womb and been looking after since then !!!!!!

'You went out with your friends leaving behind your son and hubby at home? Ohhh wow, good yaar!' ( Yeah, well ok, thanks).
' You guys go to movies on weekdays after sending your son to school? Oh my, great yaar.' ( Really? great? then why don't I believe you?')
' You bought a dress? So what did you buy for your son?' ( Is nothing an option?)
' You were sick so who was cooking and feeding your son and hubby?' ( I believe it was you!!!!)
' Oh my god, you have been playing for this long, do you remember your son needs to have lunch when he gets back home?' ( Really????? I had no clue all these years!)

Other than my husband, I don't remember anyone asking me   " How was your day out? Refreshing? Had some fun? I'm glad you did." If not all of it atleast some??!! Too much to ask for????? Or just don't say anything , that will help too :-) Next time some one comes up with anything other than what I expect them to say, I just want to say that it takes a lot of effort for me to stop myself from punching your nose or kicking your nuts ( depending on who says it) and the day I'm not in mood for too much of hard work then.....God alone should save you !

Believe me,there are some people who say " Will you please babysit my baby?" and my answer is NO. I don't know your baby's mood,pulse anything. How can I do that? I have just enough work to do with my own. Hire someone to do the job or opt for a day-care. " Oh my gawd, even after having your own, you don't want to babysit other babies?" is generally the look on the face of people. But let me ask you something....' have you asked me to hubby-sit? I have been married for 9 years now. I would know how to do it, wouldn't I?' is going to be my answer if someone spits out the words ! I'm waiting..............really .

Trust me,it's never casual !!!!

Are we happy with the portrayal of strong women characters the way it's been done? 

It bothers me the way it's done. If a woman is powerful she needs to be Man-ish, she should wear pant suits or trousers, she should smoke,she should use men the way ambitious men do with women, and should be sexually aggressive & intimidating. Really? They literally transform women into the way ambitious men are pictured in the movies to show she's out there too? What rubbish !

Movies are so misguiding when it comes to defining a woman with power or one with ambition. The young girls are so consumed with that kind of an impression that they have a notion they are or become like the ones shown on the screen if they use swear words or start smoking. And don't get me started on sex.....I mean really?

Trust me,it's never casual. I have every reason to believe that women make love with their hearts if their mind is seduced and it can never ever be casual. I'm sure most of the women agree with me if I said that they take that bonding to grave. But does that mean that women with feelings are not ambitious or powerful? Why is 'Amma' not sexually active? Isn't she one of the most powerful woman? Casually or no strings attached are not women thing and it's not a weakness for god sake!

Women clad in sarees or wearing salwar kameez and kurtas are always shown as meek, homely characters or rather push overs. I mean really? So if a woman looks traditional, does she have to give up the right to grab her man for a kiss and wait until he makes the first move? Do you have to be in a western wear or a more revealing outfit before you uncover your feelings? Thanks to movies, it does look like a prerequisite. But sorry movie makers, my shopping cart is empty and your blueprint is not the ideal one for me or for most women.

On the other hand, people say that a Lakshmi is born when a baby girl takes birth  and I ask why? If it's a baby boy, do you say Vishnu is born? Rama is Born? Shiva is born? NO. But if it's a girl why should she always be a form of goddess that they worship? Are you consoling yourself over the birth of a girl, is it like a consolation price? Trying to hide your disappointment? How about not throwing any title at her and just refrain from setting certain bars for her to meet? Just let her be born and be that girl.  

Someday I wish to see more Medhas, Sushmas and Kalpanas just the way they are and not sexed up or glamorized. Except for their innate quality nothing else should be a selling point and make our young girls like them for the way they have been. I hope someday movies will be made where characterization of a woman is more sensible and really really strong inspite of being feminine and subtle.

Holi Hai....!

Holi - an ensemble of colors. It synonyms with many a feelings too. Fun, Joy, Celebrations, Trouble (?), Many sachets of shampoo etc. Holi brings back memories or I can say takes me back to the days painted in colors and etched in my memory.

A small town celebration is always a joyful experience. As little kids you don't have much to do but be a part of everything. Since every region celebrates Holi in a similar manner but for different reasons, back home it was the demise of Kama/Madana/Manmatha and bringing him back to life later on the last day of Holi.


My sister and I (barring my first two elder sisters) were always in the high spirits when it was time for playing with colors. We would barge into every house forcibly just to throw colors on the women who would try to hide inside. We both have done some high degree acrobats while jumping across the gates and in & out of windows. It was all great fun.

I guess bigger place has its disadvantage and it dilutes the spirit usually. I haven't played Holi like that again, though did play some during my hostel days and later couple of years ago at my sister's place but it was all very much confined where as the festival demands you to breakfree. 


Holi is never complete without Bachchan Saab's 'Rang Barse Bheegi Chunarwali' song. There may be 100 odd new songs but nothing sets the groove like this one does. Given a choice between bhaang and this song, I would choose the latter as the kick you get out of this one is forever :-)

I'm neither and hence I evolve !

Why do people want to be religious as against being spiritual? I'm neither and that helps me evolve but I'm not saying that's right since I have come to believe that there's no right and wrong. But certain things should be opposed, don't you think?

I read it in a book that a remote village in Afghanistan is bifurcated geographically and unequally. All the women stay on one side which is much smaller and all the men are allowed to wander on the other bigger side of the village except where women are put up.It's the kind of discrimination which is not mentioned anywhere in the religion but followed religiously by all the people of that village so much so that the homosexuality is on the rise !

I read a story somewhere which says how blindly we follow the traditions when we are not even aware of the reason why it came to exist. Let me try to summarize the story here; 
Once upon a time there was a Pandit who was into performing all kinds of rituals at home. He had sheltered a lamb and every time he sat down for some ceremony that lamb used to be all over the place disturbing the rituals. Therefore he began to tie the lamb to a pole somewhere around the corner of his house and then would he sit down to carry on with his duties. 
His responsibilities and duties were passed on to his next generation and then to the next one and then to the next one and so on. Then there was a time when the family didn't shelter a lamb. When it was time to perform the rituals the younger Pandit made sure to have a lamb at home. He borrowed it from his neighbor ,tied it to the pole and only then he sat down to begin the rituals !!!!!

So if that's how all the traditions came to exist for a reason which is obsolete now, why do we follow it so blindly in the name of religion and look like fools?  Some temples have dress codes, some are gender specific, some are religion specific and here I am seeking peace with all the conditions applied. I would never even stand in a line to get a glimpse of an Idol which in its innate form is a stone or a metal and cannot respond. Whomever I want to see resides right inside me and hence I'm not a devotee but a lover. I might have been in love with Shiva since before I remember and I don't need to go to any temple to see him. On the other hand, would wait for an eternity to unite with the one I love. Rumi gives me that confidence. 

My husband loves Tirupathi and here's why. Everytime any of his friend's parents went to Tirupati leaving the house in the much capable hands of these guys, they seem to have had wonderful time doing all that the Balaji wouldn't approve of ;-) He's even visited Tirupati once as he was indebted to Balaji for all the opportunities bestowed upon him :-p Hehehehee, it was his tribute to Balaji, vis-a-vis Tirupati. Since I have no such reasons, I'm happy not visiting any of those.

As Rumi says ' There's a field beyond right -doing and wrong -doing and I will meet you there ...........Eesha!'

Does 'One Last Time' work for you???!!!

How does it work for you? One last time ......?

Have you ever told yourself that you were going to do it for one last time and that's all. And how many of you have succeeded ? Though it looks more like a challenge, it's not and by the time you realize, the water is already over your head. 

One last time before I start my diet let me treat myself. Has that worked for anyone? After I said that to myself I added 5 kilos,huh ! All of a sudden you are glued to the boring TV the moment you tell yourself that you are going to browse channels for one last time. One last pain killer? One last phone call? One last text? .....

One last time is a dangerous phrase,isn't it? It's like an unintended (or should I say 'pun intended') invitation . But sometimes, remember 'sometimes', when it's really really important it works but just the other way ! The night before my semester exams I told myself that one last page before going to sleep and guess what? I was asleep. It's really confusing the way Universe works. There's no one particular law that applies to everything in general !!!!

Moral of the story is, if you like doing something but are planning to stop, then just do so and do not utter those black-magic words 'One Last Time'. But if you don't like doing something (like text books), then there's no need to say 'One Last Time'. It will be so irrespective of that.  

Security Blanket and a Bad Boy !

" I can do anything I feel like when I'm with you and I'm rest assured that you would manage everything else" were Veera's (Alia) words in Highway. Every girl would want one such security blanket at some point in her life and some want it through out!

Just imagine having a pillar of strength which gives you wings to fly. Soaring to the heights and not worrying about falling down for you know that a pair of arms are waiting to hold you and throw you back in to the horizon. Everything else becomes so immaterial and null. You lose yourself to find yourself. 

The movie has one good point, when the journey is so interesting than the destination, don't hurry. What a great feeling, set out on a journey where none of the variables are known and how much you love to have one such man who will do anything to make you feel safe ( a bad boy basically,who handles everything his own way!) 

And then you enter the womanhood and realize that that girl was very careless and troublesome and you never want to put your man in trouble. There ends the bad boy infatuation but secretly continue to wish that you had a security blanket like that. 

That's the audacity of hope, I believe !

Breaking the tradition is the moral of the story in everyone's life just like it is in the movie Brave and I guess that's why I like it more and more ( my good old friend will agree with me ,won't you babe?)   

Princess Merida says that one's destiny is tied to the land but I say it's tied to people you choose to have in your life. And I agree what comes next, ' Our fate lives within us and we only have to be brave enough to see it'. I'm never tired of watching brave. It's a joy watching a girl so unruly, stubborn, carefree and breaksfree too. Ohhh I miss that girl! We all have that girl in us ,don't we? But we try hard not be like that as our tradition doesn't allow us to be one like that. A lady-like behavior is a must, perhaps?? 

Obama says in his book, 'The audacity of Hope' that every man either tries to live his father's dream or lives to correct it'. Well that sounds beautiful and I guess every man finds a hero in his father, so I guess it makes sense. But when it comes to mothers they are Lady, Muse, Inspiration, Beauty etc except heroes. Really? Now that's the audacity of hope I believe !!!! 

I refuse to be anything less than a hero. I'm not competing with men or anybody and I don't believe in that. My conflict is not with men but with traditions or what happens to women in that name. Does that mean I'm not traditional? I am when I want to be. I'm traditional and hence I choose paper books as against e-books ( environmentalists will be  after me for saying this), I'm traditional and hence I prefer home cooked meals to processed food. I'm traditional in many ways than one but I want my freedom too.

I remember once someone commented about me being over-weight and I said "I'm not over weight ,I just have traditional built " ;-)  
Well, 'Happy Women's Day' to all the women and live life as if everyday is your day.

Raat Akeli Hai....helps !

Do irrelevant things keep playing on your minds when it's important to concentrate on something else going on simultaneously? Or is it just me? Like, for example, when I was in 2nd PUC I was in the examination hall writing my last paper which was my least favorite ( biology) and the moment I picked up my pen to write, my inner self started singing 'mera naam chin chin chu' repeatedly like a broken record stuck at the same song !

Long time ago when I accompanied my husband to a Sunday mass there was this song ' Jab tak rahega samose me aloo....' which kept on playing until we came out. I was sitting in a team meeting which was held after shift and I was sooooo sleepy just like rest of the team members and all I could think of was ' Raat akeli hai, bhuj gaye diyen...'. Trust me I wanted to fall asleep right there (this song is somewhat relevant). 

Sometimes when someone is talking it feels like I'm looking at a blank screen and I can neither hear them talking nor see them even though I keep looking at them. It happens more now when I step out to socialize. I've become a little smarter, I wear a grin through out now and keep humming some peppy number like ' C A T cat, cat maane billi...' It helps a lot as much as it puts me in trouble.

I'm glad that I grew up on heavy doze of good music ,otherwise I would have had no one to turn to !!!!! What plays on your mind?????

Downey Jr. invades my mind :-)

When you find yourself in a company of people who are continuously talking about something you cannot comprehend,how would you feel? Isn't responding a struggle in such a company and even if you manage to say something it's at the risk of being looked at as so naive???!! I so much wish there was a script for all such occasions.

The crazy within me tries to overcome the shortcomings by pushing myself into much uncomfortable situations.  End result? I come out questionably victorious !!! As per Barney's law, the success rate is 2 out of 3 ( and no Barney,I'm not referring to your bro-code). 

Peer pressure is a vicious circle. The more you try harder to escape from it , the tighter becomes the grip. Owing to such pressure and grip, I decided to make myself socially easy-going person. I attended one of those meetings where they turn the entire world upside down (or so do they think). The topic was about women with kids trying to work-out to stay healthy and fit (or that's what I thought it was). Soon they were talking about something like how those women are so greedy and eager to lose weight and how they disrespect their body(fat) at that age! That was it and I lost track of what were they talking. 

Once it became that incredibly boring and disgusting my mind started wandering in the corridors of vivid imagination about all that I desire. I was thinking about Sherlock Holmes by Doyle ( the book I have been reading) and how Downey Jr restricts my imagination about Holmes's appearance by invading my mind (I'm not complaining)! From then on I couldn't stop smiling and that's the end of my maiden outing. 


That made me more confident. As per Barney's law, I had 2 success in my store. My next venture was running and I didn't disappoint myself. And for the 3rd try-out, something wild has been on my mind. When the time is right, the cat will be let out ! 

I hope Barney doesn't fail me :-))

Charles Darwin knows nothing ...!

So much for alternate schooling ! Schooling itself is so overrated, don't you agree? It's the biggest decision parents have to make for their kids. We often want nothing less than the best for our kids and constantly feel the pressure of doing things right. Now that I'm out of that phase I can easily say " Take a break folks" ! 

A friend of mine who's inclined to alternate schooling says ,
" It's a wonderful concept. You learn not to compete, not be bound by or to anything, just be what you are and take just one step at a time."
Sounds magical to me but I'm still confused,after all I attended ordinary school and therefore my comprehending skills are very poor. But I wonder if Charles Darwin attended similar school like most of us because one of his most elementary theories says " Struggle for Existence and Survival of the fittest."  Poor Darwin didn't know there could be a way to survive without fighting or competing. I guess this friend of mine can enlighten poor souls like Darwin and us !!!!!

You know, I love greenery. When I was a kid, our play ground were designed on tall trees and green grass land ( it was natural and not made up). I love pottery, spacious houses in the suburb with a little garden and no electronic gadgets including phones and TV. Playing in the mud and sand was like Disney land.  But trust me all that looked so lucrative and overwhelming because I went to a regular school. It was a big break from the routine. Even now I love to go to a remote place and keep away from all the materialistic life here but guess what,not for long !!! I love all that if it's for a change with a short shelf life. And if I want my son to learn all that I will take vacations with him to show him the places, if he's interested in pottery , he will enroll for the classes but that cannot be all for him. There's much more to it and I would want him to make the choice when he's ready for the race. I want him to be as ordinary as I have been but achieve something extraordinary.

For me school is only 20% of your entire life. Since I know a little mathematics I can say that other 80% is larger part of your life (I learnt that much mathematics in ordinary schools). I just want my child to be aware of the competition and hard work so that when it's his turn he doesn't feel pressurized into giving up. Giving-up is a choice I want him to make despite being skilled for it than be left with no choice but stay out.