Another year gone by while a new one dawns upon us. It's the time that you are posed with questions about the new resolutions. Well, for people like me who have bid farewell to 34 years, it's a fact well-known and proven that you don't make any resolutions on the eve of a new year. Why? We all know why. You don't make anything just for the namesake as you know very well by now that it won't stand a chance in the roller-coaster hubbub of the thing you call life!
New year's eve don't teach you a thing about what to do with your life, which means resolutions are made based on the pure alcohol quotient in the body and is generally dismissed by your mind next morning while the remnants of alcohol is still evaporating. Mid thirties are hard to get fooled or overpowered by such factions. Phhht, it's the time to get cynical and not theatrical!! Anyway, all of the above is just to prove that I'm getting somewhere in life. What a relief!
There are a few lessons I have learnt so far whenever I got a chance to learn (not that I had a choice) and that's widened my acceptance range for any change that takes place. In fact, I welcome any change with open arms now. Here are a few lessons that the life chose to bestow upon me.
- Now I know any sale is like a forbidden fruit, the more it tempts the higher it costs.
- One last bite or one small bite of any tasty snack will not deliver you from evil.
- 'I will not have another pet' is not a permanent feeling.(It still holds good if you replace pet with babies!)
- 'Beers are only during summer,... for cool treatment' is a trap.
- This is the last page before I close the book is a myth and so is the last episode I'm watching before going to bed.
- Fixing the number of books one is going to buy during that visit to a book store is a big fat lie.
- I hardly wear sarees so I'm not going to buy anymore cotton or hand loom sarees...phhhht! Yeah you wish!(Why do you think you have a big closet? Doesn't matter even if there's no space in it.)
- Adam Rayner is the last crush of my life. (Oh really, then what about Sendhil Ramamurthy? and remember you have a thing for dark complexion that stays longer in your head than a blue eyed hottie.)
On the top of my head these were the best ones I learned from the year I started accepting my lessons, till 2015. I don't know what 2016 and so on hold for me. That reminds the biggest lesson I learnt in 2015. Three days after I delivered my little girl, I walked out of the hospital room holding her in my arms. My husband carried all the bags while my son helped him with a lot of little things.
I could barely walk with my lower abdomen still hurting with c-section stitches and there was this stinging sensation from the metal clips they had used around my stitches, biting into my partially healed wounds. My legs were trembling slightly due to the weight they were carrying but I kept walking until we reached the parking with all the might. That's when I learnt the biggest lesson of my life, I need no one else but these three people. I delivered the baby and carried her home when we had no extra hands to help. My husband and son stood like pillars and we all made it home and to a very new and happy beginning. My son will know the kind of man he should be when he grows up and my daughter will know what it takes to be a fine man as her dad stands for all that's true and golden.
That brings me to the last point. We don't need people to connect on a SNS or on a chat/messenger(this is probably an old lesson and many people have already learnt that but new for me). Those who stand with you when you need them is all you need through out your life. It slowly sunk into me that I should switch off and de-socialize as it makes no sense carrying on with the show. You have everything in life when you have a home and a family that you need. I know it's kind of hard to make new friends when you cross certain age but that's the beauty of life. You don't need to make new friends or try hard to keep up with the old ones. You just need to be courteous with people around you than trying to connect with the ones who have already phased out. Whatever you think you need in life is not necessarily on cloud but it lies right before your eyes on the ground where you can see it.
When I'm looked at as an agony aunt by my nieces, I know what exactly to say now.
- Walk away from a man if he doesn't want to apologize when he hurts you. He should choose you and not his ego at any point of time but if he's not doing that then wish him good luck with his ego. Same applies to you too. It takes two to tango.
- If a man doesn't correct himself and chooses to blame your tempers on your monthly blues, slap hard and don't apologize. Apology is an attitude adjustment and if he's incapable of doing that then show him that you are capable of being unapologetic. But attitude adjustment is not just for men.
- If someone wants to keep a child alive in him , it's ok but he should know the difference between being a child and being a jerk. If it's the latter he's mistaking for child-likeness then god save him but you save yourself first.
- And more importantly if you don't have a man in your life like the one I have in mine, don't stop looking!
Time flies, it's 2016 and I'm the agony aunt. Posters of Virat,Varun and the likes, on the walls of my nieces' room hint that they are ready to step into womanhood and make those mistakes before they become a lady. Well, that's for women who aspire to become ladylike but some women choose otherwise. They drown into anonymity and withdraw into untold stories that the history easily forgets. Isn't that a wonderful feeling that you never existed after having learnt the only truth about life, that you lived!
Happy 2016 everyone :-)
And the fresh change is that, she's not much different from her brother. She loves cars and other vehicle toys, for some reason she seems to find the stuffed toys repulsive and I'm completely ok with that. Sometimes when I go looking for toys for little girls, these shopkeepers come up with dolls like barbies and alike and I ask why? I remember, all four of us hated barbie dolls when we were young since it imprinted definition of beauty in the young minds and barbie still stands for that rancid thought. 
I also wish they banned brainless fairy tales, why would any sane person wants to feed their little girls with irrational and baseless stories? Mine may not become a kick boxer or she just might but I don't want her to wait for some prince charming to rescue her. The new generation animated movies are more hopeful. Merida from Brave could be a role model. Brave shows that little girls don't have to be dreamy, naive and ready to fall in love always. They can be as real as they want to, as crude and unlady like, as long as they nurse an ambition to become something other than the damsel in distress. 
