The short letter contest !

A couple of days ago, we (my writer-friends and I) challenged each other to write an erotic letter to the man we love the most. Conditions applied -> In addition to being the shortest letter, it had to be explicitly punctuated to qualify for the contest !

My letter;

" My love. (stop)

           Please don't stop......"


I got qualified ! Cheeeeeeeers :-)

The Prodigal Sons :-)

It was almost time when he reached the hang out and he saw another man already sitting by the balcony smoking chillum. The man with the chillum was dressed modestly and looked lost in his thoughts but shook his head just as he realized there's some one else in the balcony. There was a man in white robe with a lot of facial hair and he took a few steps towards the man with chillum and sat down facing him. They shook hands with each other smiling. 

The Chillum Man : " Would you like a drag?"
The white Robe Man : (Smiles mischievously) " No Mr. Stone, I have got mine right here! "
He takes out a pet bottle of wine from under his robe and asks the other man,
" Would you like some of this?"
The Chillum Man : " Ha Ha, I'm not fond of blood (winks)."
The man in the robe takes a sip and smiles.


Neither of them speak for a while and then breaking the silence, the chillum man speaks,
" Nothing has changed, don't you think? There was a victim complaining about people who were right there at the time of attack and did nothing to help."
The man in the robe nodded in agreement and spoke " I think so too. It's same everywhere irrespective of the times. When I was being punished for no reason, there was a huge crowd gathered around to see what was happening to me but no one came forward to stop though, in their heart, they knew what was going on was not right. When I said 'forgive them as they don't know what they are doing' ,it wasn't meant to be for those who punished me but they twisted my words !"
The man with the chillum squeezed his hand gently before saying " I'm amazed that you continue to help them get better. You have a kind heart my dear."

The man in the robe smiled kindly and said " I heard about the tragic end of the people when they were on pilgrimage. That was very very sad. What went wrong?"
The chillum man looked very disappointed when he said " You know, you tell everyone there's a God within each one of you and 'Har Har Mahadev' are not just words but a message. and who do you think cares? It doesn't take a God to tell them about the nature of land.They were told not to build anything anywhere in that place. Once you let superstition take over you, idol worship is at the top of the list and the reason is lost. It's not just now, I told them not to build a memorial ground when thousands of Asuras were killed.It was not morally right but who would listen? That's how assi ghat came into existence, just against my wishes. It still glorifies the blasphemy and reminds me of the blunder I allowed."
He shrugged and looked sideways. The man in the robe came forward and hugged him. " But you are truly a man of honor. You still continue to protect them. " 


They released each other and looked at their beloveds resting at the foot of the old fort. The chillum man said " Where's this other guy? why hasn't he showed up?"
The man in robe " Well, you know he's been framed by his own followers and I guess he's been working really hard to clear his name. Poor him,he's been badly betrayed by his own people though they say they are doing all these in his honor."
The Chillum man " Yeah I guess he beats both of us. His devotees have done more than what happened to us. You know they say 'A friend in need is a friend in deed', what say? "

Both the men got out of the old fort and just as they started walking their beloveds, a lamb and a bull followed them.

A secret that blew Lanka into pieces !

It's always said that the whole life unfolds before your eyes in a glimpse when you are about to die but no one knows the order that follows. Ravana's eyelashes batted,felt heavy and began to close as his mind raced back to the events in the past. 

The young vanara was standing before him singing praises of Rama and advising him to return Sita. He added that if he fell on Rama's feet asking for his forgiveness his kingdom would be spared too. Ravana tried hard to remember the name of the young monkey man but his mind had started the evacuation process already! He just remembered that the youth resembled Vaali who was once his well-wisher.That's when he thought Vaali's son was a fool to join hands with someone who murdered his own father who was a great warrior and a wonderful ruler. For a moment he felt proud of his sons who stood by him at all times but what he forgot was the possibility that it didn't always take a son to betray, it could be a sibling just like Sugreeva!

Ravana groaned, there was a jackal biting his feet but he couldn't move even a toe to show resistance. He remembered the day Soorpnakha entered his court with a bleeding nose and chopped ears. He was very happy and sad at the same time when he heard her story. That's the moment he got to know the whereabouts of his abandoned daughter after a very long time. He had stopped his spies to bring any report about the princess of Mithila after he heard she was married off to a decent prince. But it pained a lot to know she was living in the thick forest and he was furious about Rama who was the reason behind it. He looked at his sister and smiled inside " You got the lesson of your life for going after men and now it's my duty as a father to bring my daughter back and save her from misery." He couldn't tell anyone about it ,so he just flew in his metal bird with Maricha to bring his daughter,princess of Lanka back home!

Ravana moved his eye lids and looked around. All the great men of his dynasty were lying in the pool of blood. His ministers,generals,admirals,sons and soldiers of the soil. He wept for what he brought down upon them. His well-kept secret from the world had torn him apart from his people and kingdom. All he wanted to do was teach a lesson to Rama who made his daughter suffer in the middle of wilderness. And when Rama declared a war against him not knowing his intentions, he felt too proud to go back to him with his reasons. He felt it would look like an attempt to escape behind the shield of cowardice. He was filled with his nasty ego till the brim of his soul. He always wanted to be a hero. His ego had lead him too far from where he couldn't return.

Just before his eyes closed completely he saw a blurr silhouette of a man with a bow and a quiver full of arrows. He walked slowly towards Ravana and kept a hand on his head and that's when Ravana knew it was Rama. He had one last wish and he wanted Rama to fulfill that." Rama, please don't listen to the stories floating around. Sita is my abandoned daughter when she was only a few months old,as my astrologers told me she would bring  destruction to the entire Asura empire. I didn't kidnap your wife but I only brought a daughter home. It was a secret that I never told anyone before or after I brought her back as I feared my people might not let her see the light of the day once the truth was out." 

 But nothing came out of his mouth, he choked on his own words as they struggled to escape his throat and made only sounds that no one could make sense of. He brought his palms together to beg him to forgive him for what he had done in a state of righteousness. He wanted to tell him that  he was so wrong to separate a wife from her husband even if the lady was his daughter and how blinded he was to see her side of the story. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he struggled to thank him for making him realize his mistakes,not only the one with his daughter but also for having wrong people around. His hands fell to his sides and his chest heaved for the last time before falling into a state of coma never to return.

*********************************

A pyre was set and the body was placed on it. Mandodari was standing by the window of her room, expressionless. Ravana looked up to see Mandodari, he was getting ready to ride pillion with Yama on his bison. Yama gauged the situation and gave him a few minutes before he spoke. 

" Hey Ravana, the mighty ruler of Lanka. Your lady needs you. Your entire royal family and those who knew the secret have already joined me long back. She would take it to her grave unless you tell her to part with it. Would you like me to let you go back,perhaps?" . Ravana was now above all the miseries of the world and he said with a surprisingly pleasant tone " Hey Yama, God of Death,do not underestimate my queen. She's capable of taking it from here alone and as far as my daughter is concerned I have let her down and never once fulfilled my duties towards her. I wronged her when I took her away from Rama thinking I was right in doing so. This is my chance to correct what I did.  Rama will rejoice over his victory and his name will be etched in the history of India. Don't forget the people of India need a king like him. This is my gift to my daughter." Yama smiled and took off with Ravana just before his pyre was ignited.

Ravana thought to himself " Rama, I won so many battles adding feathers to my crown day after day but never once was this famous. But time time, I lost my battle to you and you made me known to the world and I'm grateful to you. I'm Ravana and I live forever in the minds of people as long as you promise to come back everytime to lead me to salvation. Jai Shri Ram."

My tragic and unfinished love story :-(

Though Clooney wasn't in The Dark Knight and Bale wasn't an appropriate substitution, leaving audience to look for something else to fill their hearts with, 'the Joker' emerged as a breath of fresh air. But it wasn't the last time I liked Ledger, I fell in love with him all over again when I watched one of his earlier movies from 1999 called '10 things I hate about you' focused on teen-drama.Oh boy, what's with these attractive men and me falling in love with all of them, would it stop somewhere? I hope not !!!!! 

Actually in this movie aforementioned, it wasn't him I fell in love with but his type ! I thought I was done liking this kinda bad boys when I hit 30 but looks like the teen in me still likes the type,a revelation to myself (!) Oh boy, how charming was his unpolished mannerisms (am I actually saying this?)....mostly subtle! I guess it's his subtle behavior that I fell for which is completely unlike our bollywood heroes, who 'try' to be that unpolished bad boys who are very loud and show offs and guess what,it's a big turn off !!!! ( They need to know this,wish they read my posts...(sigh) ) ;-)

It's a big loss that Heath is not among us today and he won't be in any of the future(or should I say 'feature'?) movies. Does anyone want to tell me how ridiculous it was when Vivek Oberoi compared himself in Krrish3 to our beloved Joker saab ??!!! I wanted to say 'You wish'! Let's just hope he reaches there someday (I mean acting-wise :-p)

It's going under as one of my tragic or unfinished love stories :-( but I wish I could tell you the 10 things I hate about the movies that you are not in and your 'absence' from the movie tops the list !!!!

Being a woman is my privilege.

When I was a little girl I would hate Disney movies or any movie that portrayed princesses(read women) as characters meant to wait for a certain prince charming to sweep them off their feet. It always made me feel like a weaker sex and I didn't want to be one. Why would I want to wait for a prince charming to be happy or to live happily ever after????!!!!

Well, I guess the grown-up inside me has slightly changed now ! Though I still don't believe that waiting for the prince charming is the only thing that girls do in their lifetime, my theory has evolved over the years. Being a feminist is not anti-men, atleast not for me. You say you favor women but you evaluate her against what men have done over the years. Is that what I want to do too? It's not about what I want to tell my son or daughter,it's something I need to understand first.

I don't want to be measured against men. I do things differently and there's no comparison. I never want to say things like 'I can do the same thing as you, so I'm an equal'. Why would I want to be equal to men? They are not the benchmark and I strongly believe there IS no such benchmark for both girls and boys. All I want to tell my kids is ' Being independent is a polished word for being selfish. Be there for each other and don't let your ego overrule your relationships. It's not about what one can do but it's about what one can do FOR the other.' I would never mind waiting for a prince charming !

When in a relationship, I want to keep that difference that I am the woman and he's the man. I may not knit for you but I would wait until after midnight to have a meal with you, I would like to hear you say the magical three words, I would want to get pampered and feel special and I would wait for the touch that makes me tremble with excitement  because I am a woman and I like that. Being a woman is not a clause to set out on a journey to prove anything to anyone but it's my privilege.  

Men and women cannot replace each other ,if they did it wouldn't feel the same !!!! 

Best Seller !!!!!

A book is a best seller only when the one who bought it feels it's the best purchase. Number of copies sold alone cannot make the book a best seller, in which case a pocket dictionary or a pocket calender could have been the best selling ones too! 

Of the million books, half of them will have ' best seller' written at the back of the book cover assuming that alone will make it a big success. Example, what's the use of a best selling cookbook? I would say,same as the one selling least ! If I want to be a good cook, I will follow my mum (or dad,whoever is good at cooking) and ask her for the tips. I don't need a cook book. Even if people bought one enthusiastically,they end up stalking it on the top of the shelf leaving it there for years as a food for termites thus serving it purpose as a cook book,there you go !

What's the use of a best selling 'weight loss' book? 90% of the people lose nothing except for the money spent on the book. It's as good as becoming a member at a local gym and not turning up until validity expires ! And what happens to the book? Well, it loses it's face value ! Likewise M&B, TDH etc become best sellers for unknown reasons.


All in all, a publicity gimmick like 'best seller' leads to the malnutrition of mind and soul resulting in intellectually challenged people. My favorite best selling book is my husband's cheque book. But only concern is, this book contains leaves instead of pages and I get extremely worried when it's autumn !!!!!!

God's practical joke on women !

I wonder how it feels to get under the skin of someone who's just not you. I wish I could ask the great warrior Arjuna if he felt any discomfort. But there are some stupendously talented actors who have made it impossible to believe that in reality,they are just the opposite. 

Matt Bomer/Neil Caffery

Matt Bomer is one of my favorites. He has that chiseled looks and tempting mannerism which is tailor made for his role as a ladies' man in 'White Collar'. It's heart breaking to know he likes men in real life.Of all the things that says otherwise, his acting skills are one of them. It's hard to believe what  he's in real life. I want to ask the Almighty one day whether he meant it as a practical joke on women???? 

Neil Patrick Harrison/Barney

Neil Patrick Harris,commonly known as Barney from 'How I met your mother' series, looks adorable and charming as an 'innocent(!!!!) womanizer' but much believable during the end of season9 when he transforms himself in to being a romantic lover dedicated to one woman. In real life? It's another tragedy for us,women!

Do you remember the chocolate bad boy in spiderman who's Peter's friend and turns foe later? Yeah John Franco ! The list never ends... John Travolta,Ricky Martin,Bradley Cooper and goes on and on and on. Too many miseries ladies,just too many!! But again what I would like to reiterate here is, they are all unbelievable actors and there's no way you could make out looking at their characters on the screen that their orientation is just the opposite. Our beloved Sheldon (Jim Parsons) falls into no such category when you look at him, he's purely robotic :-p !

John Travolta

But the problem is when the straight people play the opposite of their orientation they go to an extent of over doing which might cause certain aversion towards them and the people with that kind of orientation. Haven't we seen them doing things very demeaning? Hope the straight actors get better over a period of time. For a change, Justin Bartha is much better as a gay lover and very warm. I completely enjoy those who are not straight and essay the similar roles on screen too. They are quiet entertaining and I fall in love with them for they are funny,cute,smart and sensitive like Michael Urie,Mark Indelicato and Andrew Rannells. 

Buck up straight men, you have a long way to go in acting and slim chance of attracting women ;-) Meanwhile,I might start a prayer group for women to send a message to God Almighty that we get your jokes but it's getting too much so please put an end to it !

" What's,in your case, an aphrodisiac?

                 It's commonly said that 'the way to a man's heart is through his stomach' (Ahem Ahem, I wonder if they measured it a bit too high !)

 I always wondered how it could ever be true since everyone has a stomach to satisfy with good food, so I thought let's not be sexist when we say that U..N..T..I..L I came across an article which made me consider the saying and I began to believe as I read through. They say that the type of food intake has a direct impact on the sex life. when  'cooking and the way to man's heart' are involved in the same article it's hard not to read. Especially when you  have a foodie husband ;-) 

I found that some food can actually have an effect on hormones,brain chemistry,energy & stress levels. Some are psychologically suggestive and cause increased blood flow to the genitals! I never mulled over such things. In 17th century, grooms were carefully fed with all the aphrodisiac food before the wedding night. It sounds very sexist that they didn't care for brides. The funny part is, Avocado was referred to as 'testicle tree' as the fruits were hanging in pairs and would look very similar and therefore the catholic priests had banned having avocado...!!!! I 
It's worth imagining the look on their face ;-)

Sweet basil sauce is said to have your heart racing. This sauce is extensively used in making pastas. No wonder Italians are so romantic :-) Avocado basil,Figs,Almonds,Asparagus,Chocolate/Coco etc are all non-Indian products but we don't need to feel sad since these are easy imports. We anyway have our own share of aphrodisiacs like bananas,garlic  etc. After all, we are hardcore romantic too,aren't we?
So the moral of the story is " Way to a man's heart is through his..errr.... stomach ?! "

It's time to pause and think " What's,in your case, an aphrodisiac?....."

Mine....well,it's on my mind !

P.S: This is not the entire list of food. Google it up as and when it's necessary :-)

Don't buy a new car, buy an old one. We can drive faster !

" Speed thrills but kills " is the common punch dialogue that seems to appear in every nook and corner. I must  have seen that a million times when we set out for an impulsive road trip to Mysore last weekend. That was first of it kinds for many reasons. One, we had never done anything on impulse since my son was born and two...well, you will know by the end of this post !

Mysore is approximately at a distance of 140km and could be reached in about 3 hours depending on the traffic and weather conditions. My husband was participating in a marathon held in Srirangapatna on Sunday morning and was scheduled to travel alone on the previous night but in the spur of the moment on Saturday evening, after we got back from a long drive on Kanakapura road, we (me and my son) decided to join him. My hubby was only happy about the company if not overwhelmed. He decided to take up the drive and we played along. We left about 4pm and expected to reach by 7pm if we didn't take any pit stops. Mind you, we were driving in the new car which was barely a month old and was due for its first service on the following Monday!  


My little son and I were excited to be in the car as it was our first long drive since our car was delivered. City limits....my gosh! Can someone actually enjoy the drive while trying to escape the potholes,rash drivers and the heavy traffic. I could understand why was it taking a long time to reach the outskirts. Then it was the humid weather that was killing us and I knew a/c would restrict  the speed too.

All these while, I was playing the DJ for my son's and my hubby's requests and I was going through each bill-boards/hoardings appreciating them for the creativity.We were somewhere on the Ramanagaram and Channapatna road when my son saw a group of cyclists who were on their way to Mysore or someplace else. He was excited to see them and waved at them shouting. They responded by smiling and waving back at him while they rode past us !!

He kept quiet for couple minutes before he came up with his theory
Son:  " Appa, next time we will also ride bi-cycles like them. Amma, you and me , all                  three of us."
Appa:  " Why baby? it's tiresome to ride for that long. You need to practice everyday to do        do something like that.
Son:  " But Appa, it's faster than our car. Look they have left us behind, we could also                 reach Mysore faster if we were on our cycles !!!"

It struck to me right then, since my hubby was trying to stay within the speed of 60 it had slowed down so much that I could read all boards and my son could talk to everyone on the road going past us. Just then I knew, it was going to be one long journey !!!!!
And so it was. We reached around 9pm and checked into a hotel. By the time we plopped up on the bed my whole body was killing. 

Then I said it aloud " Speed definitely kills irrespective of the speedometer reading !". 
My son had another theory " Appa, next time don't buy a new car, buy an old one. We can drive faster !" 
My husband just shrugged and hit the sack,next I heard him snoring!

Return was equally painful if not more. We left around 1pm but reached around only 6pm. Thanks to my New car and the Old hubby :-)

I had a rainbow in my eyes and it was yellow in color !!!!!

One evening after school, I was walking back home with my sister when the hell broke loose and started to pour like it never would stop. We took refuge under the pseudo roof of a footwear shop on the busy market street. My teenage sister and her friends continued their deep thoughtful discussion about things that I don't remember now but sure remember it was hard for me to break the riddled conversation and hence I kept myself busy looking at the things that were easy to comprehend at the age of 8.

 I glanced at the shop once, like I was, at everything else to find something interesting to keep myself occupied.That's when I looked at the yellow shoes collection and once I set my eyes on them it was nearly impossible for me to undo the feeling I developed. On that one non-uniform day in the week (color dress day) I used to wear flat rubber sandals to school and to add to the glory, while walking, it would splash rainy water every single time. I was so mesmerized looking at the shoes. 

"Pick me Pick me Pick me Pick me..."

 They were looking back at me like they wanted me to take them home or atleast A PAIR of them! I didn't realize that it had stopped raining and my sister was pulling my arm to get going. Since I didn't have a choice I started walking home with her but left a piece of my heart behind. I had a rainbow in my eyes and it was yellow in color !!!!! I don't have to tell you what I dreamed that night or do I?  Everything looked so yellow that I wouldn't have minded having jaundice :-D.

   Later that week I came home with a broken rubber sandal and kept it in full view and the following Sunday my mom took me out for footwear shopping ( It's always easy to catch the fish when you have a good catch, ain't it? ). But she made it a point to tell me that she would also get the broken one fixed and I would have the luxury of using that one besides the new one she was going to buy for me. I heard nothing except " I will buy the lovely yellow shoe that you have been fancying " ,so I said yes to everything she had or might have said.

The moment we stepped in to the same showroom my heart either stopped beating or started pounding inside my head and I thought it was going to explode. (Stopped or started pounding, I don't remember exactly. So it's highly debatable). The shop keeper was going on telling my mom about the wide range of new collection of shoes for the little girls. I set my eyes so intensely on a pair of cute little yellow shoes that they were popping out of my eye socket. I had to close my eyes to stop them from falling out. Once I closed my eyes I was dreaming about wearing the new shoes but not walking around .....because I was floating and drifting off to the entire new world of yellow rainbows !!!!!!

I opened my eyes to " Ok, let's go now" . I looked at the bag my mom was holding and was about to go gaga over the deed she had done for me but my mom held my hand and started walking back home. I was racing in my mind to reach home while trying to walk slow. I didn't want to upset mom ,my dear mom, who had just picked my favorite yellow shoes. When we reached home my sister looked at me with a smile and asked my mom " So,it's in yellow just as she liked?". And my mom nodded her head,patted my back affectionately and handed the bag to  me while getting inside. That's it, couldn't have waited any longer. It somehow looked like an eternity when I was struggling to open the box in the bag with my trembling hands. I took it out.....and I don't remember anything after that,so I guess that's when I skipped a heart beat or were there too many ?


Later that night  while having dinner my dad asked me if I liked the new footwear and before I could say anything my sister blurted " Did she? Oh dad ,she ofcourse did. The moment she took them out she was speechless for a long time and I really had to shake her hard to bring her back" and then she looked at me adding " You are welcome, I told mom how you were staring at those little yellow ones and now, you have them " !!!!!!!


P.S : Below is the image which came very close to the ones my mom bought for me under the able guidance of my sister :-o 

They turned my dream into a colorless rainbow !

I began to believe that 'Raj' was actually a big jerk !!!!

" Na jaane mere dil ko kya ho gaya....." was playing on my system which brought back a train of thoughts. The movie DDLJ was released in 1995 and all the songs were instant hits.  I loved all the songs the very first time, it was like love at first sight !!! There are many such songs which have been my favorites,like 'Churaliya liya hai tumne jo dil ko', ' Gulabi Aanken Jo teri Dekhi....','Aise na mujhe tum deho seene se laga loonga...','Tum bin jao kahan...' and the likes but even today it's a new feeling everytime I listen  to any of those songs. I will tell you why !

       Back when I was in 8th Standard or before that I would love the music but I started enjoying the lyrics only a year after that when I 'graduated' to second year in high school. The blooming season had begun already and everything had a new meaning from thereon. Like the girls of my age, I would blush very frequently. I had begun to respond differently everytime I listened to the male voice singing  ' Sajavoonga lutkar bhi tere badan ke daali ko,lahoo jigar ka doonga tere hoton ke laali ko....'  When I recall the moments, it feels like someone totally not me ! That was the time everything had a meaning the way I understood. Being 'that' girl from small town with a dream of making it big in one way or the other had other dreams too. Like all small town girls I believed that my big love story was also in store for me and it also included a Raj. Oh my ! Sometimes I wonder, was I really that naive?  

     And then during my graduation, I began to believe that 'Raj' was actually a big jerk because he never showed up. 'Aise na mujhe tum dekho....' never actually ended in 'seene se laga loonga' and I started believing that my 'Gulabi aankhen...'  wasn't so influential to make someone alcoholic!!!!! And then I ended up with ' Tum bin jao kahan?" .Ha Ha ....yeah real fun ! 

One night I fell asleep on my bed reading 'Bloodline' which was bought from a used books shop with the little money I had saved. That night I dreamed I was getting married in a church to a tall,dark,handsome man with curly hair.( Next morning I shared this with my roommate and she made sure to remind me of that the day I married my TDH with curly hair). The dream had nothing to do with the book I was reading but I still believe Rhys Williams greatly influenced my thoughts from there on. From that moment there was no Raj but only Rhys !!!!!

       Since then the context has been changing as and when I switch phases.Earlier in my teenage or even in  my 20s, I would love movies or lead men who would imply things as it let the women (me) believe what they(I) wanted to believe. But now, in my 30+, I enjoy watching men who are more straight forward.( They don't keep their women waiting like Raj :-o) Someone who don't beat around the bush and becomes the man his woman likes him to be. I guess I have moved on to someone like Robinhood or Gladiator !!!!! 

Yes, I'm hard core romantic but my taste keeps changing as I get older, wiser and happier !!!

P.S: I still love all those songs :-)

      

It started with the type of coffee we were having !!!!

I'm not a great scholar , I guess everyone knows though I got my nerves now to admit it but now and then I get an opportunity or two to make myself feel above some people :-p I'm sure all of us know how heavenly it feels :-D.....hehehehhe wicked me ;-)

Recently I visited an old friend of mine who has moved to the city after almost a decade. Being single has its ups and downs,just like people with family do but a lot different.....atleast that's what I realized after speaking to him. It started with the type of coffee we were having !!!! 

He: " Look,what's happened to me! It's terrible. Till last couple of months I didn't even need to know how I liked my coffee and now....oh gosh!"
  I : " Hmmmmm,that's truly terrible to realize what we like....:-p"
He: " Make fun all you want, but that's the tragedy of my life. As long as I had 'Her' in my life I never needed to know myself. You know it's so hard to get over someone who was so very special to you and suddenly decides to marry someone else and moves to the other side of the ocean !"

          That was a sensitive moment and I didn't want to talk just anything and hurt him even more but as a friend of 2 decades I had to do what I had to. I felt he needed a friend so without further delay I donned the hat ! 

I : " She sure was some girl. I wonder what transpired inside her head to take a decision like that. I'm sure there's someone for everyone,if not exclusive ;-) (I tried to humor him but it didn't work. He just shrugged).You say she was very special to you,don't you? No chance someone else could be that special again? "
He: " Not even close. " ( His voice was very clear).
 I  : " And why is that? why is she so special?"
He: " I don't know? Why does someone feel special? It's a feeling. You  know that, you are married to someone who's made you feel special. It's ...you know the moments or instances...I don't know."

         I kept quiet for a while. I didn't want to brag about how my husband made me feel special and how did we end up together. I was looking for plan B but I was determined to make him realize why he lost his lady love. Why was I so sure? I had spoken to her on many occasions and I knew how she felt !!!
 Before I could start with my stammers, to my big relief he continued !!!

He: " For the 5 years we knew of each other, she would always be the first one to wish me on my b'day at midnight. Sometimes she would even send over the flowers or little gifts. And the last year she didn't remember to wish me !!! She would always drop by when I was feeling low. You know, whenever I came back from my trips the moment I switched on the phone,it would ring. Dunno for how long she would have tried to reach me to make sure I landed safe. She would listen to my frustrations and whatever office stories I had to blurt out.....Oh god! Feels like I have lost a pair of ears !!!! "
  I : " Whatever I'm going to say next will not make you feel any  better but I must say this....you had a beautiful special friend. And I'm sorry you lost her. "

              I truly was sorry. Big gifts or PDAs don't really matter as much as the little things,in life. It's very hard to get someone who knows your every pulse. It's a big loss !

 I   : " I'm sure she misses it too dear. Of course you must  have done the same things to her too..."
He : " well.....not really !!!  I in fact didn't even know her b'day and I always thought I didn't have to remember it as long as I have the social networking sites to tell me. I know it's horrible but please don't judge me."
  I : " I won't,who am I to judge. Did you tell her how you felt about her wishes and gifts and her being there always? "
He: " See, that's another thing. I never did. I had so many female friends , and this one was always there no matter others stayed or not. So...it's not that I took her for granted but it never occurred to me. I was not focused, I guess!"
 I : " Then why do you worry now? So all in all, SHE was not special to you but she made YOU feel very special....to her ! Correct me if I'm wrong, you never made an attempt to make her feel special,never dropped something very big or even silly event just to be her side? never stopped caring about your cell phone when you were with her? Never remembered her big day? never brought her flowers or books??? Nothing???? Did you at least tell her how much you waited for her calls on your b'day or whenever you said she would call to hear from you? You mean, she made all the efforts to make you feel special and you never even appreciated it ,forget making HER feel special? And now you worry, she forgot your b'day last year or she got married to someone else and moved away??? "

             There I said it all, I made my point. He didn't say anything. It's not that  he was ignorant of these things, I guess he needed to hear it from someone who knows him well to help him accept what  he had done !

              I wonder why people do this. I have seen many who do the same mistake and end up miserable mostly blaming it on the people who left them. How do you make someone feel special to you? Pay attention !!! Simple,isn't it? why is it so hard? I feel sorry for this friend of mine who lost a lady like her. I guess it's the mind set of people, when someone showers you with lot of attention you tried to take them for granted or feel less important. But I know some, who are really lucky to have realized what they want !!!! 

            Anyway, this is not the episode that made me feel better, I guess I started to write something else but turned out something else. Man, I need to focus here !!!!!

Gatsby Vs Gatsby

Gatsby - enigmatic,charismatic and unconditional passionate lover, he's all that a woman desires to see in a man but knows, of course,a man such as Jay Gatsby cannot exist in a real world. Thanks to Fitzgerald for fulfilling the women fantasies!  



1974 classic, Robert Redford who gets under the skin of Gatsby looks very real and believable. Though he earns his fortune by bootlegging alcohol, his attempts to get richer or popular are based on his true and only intention of finding his lady love,with whom he's still in love with, who's married to someone else. He looks surreal but sincere. 

 In 2013   Leonardo,who looks more than just a temptation fails to achieve what Redford had established without that chiseled looks ! The movie is not only very loud but also dazzling all along and not in a happy and gay way. It loses on the nuances to connect with the people watching. Bazz,looks like, has focused more on visuals than feel-good factor. The new Jay Gatsby doesn't show the same depth though he looks more stylish than the previous one. While the former touches the heart deep down,the latter only looks like an arm candy.

Though neither of the movies had the daring Gatsby as described by Scott in his book but the former came very close to being that than the latter and thus winning the hearts of many women Redford still stands as victorious Gatsby. Nevertheless,the new Meyer Wolfsheim is the only refreshing change made by Bazz or it may be me, being the hard core fan of Mr.Amitabh Bachchan.

All in all, when I think of Gatsby, I can only think of Redford. I guess, the damage he's made is more than he might have thought of !!!!

I have happily let them go !

Now a days people keep saying things like how these e-life has made people distant and lazy. I agree and disagree at the same time.Some of my friends had relocated by the time I went to high school and we would write long letters to each other. I would get atleast 1 letter every week from one or the other friend. I miss writing letters now ! Though  the Social Networking Sites(SNS) have helped me trace many of my lost friends and keep in touch with them now and then, I feel it's also driven some of my close friends away.

We get carried away so much that we feel it's ok not to have long and frequent conversation. We sometime get so lazy that we take an awful long time to respond. We take people for granted since we get to see them on SNS anytime we login and assume they are still the same just like how we remember them. I feel it's a wrong notion. People change and it's always for good. If I don't speak to them regularly I wouldn't know their frame of mind and it's not always true that we can connect to a good friend even if we don't speak to him/her for years.

The day I realized what I was doing to myself by blaming other people for the way they responded when I struck a conversation after long intervals, I stopped being what I was. In just a month or so I changed my routine. I have a few friends who are really interested in keeping in touch for all the right reasons and not because I impose! ( Yeah I never really thought I could be imposing too !!!!). Now I talk to them atleast once a week over the phone and meet up atleast 3 of them in a month.I have a couple of friends who are miles away but one of them keeps in touch through long emails which I have always liked to send and receive.  Atleast twice a month we write to each other about every small and significant things , we share our joy and offer comfort when needed.

I'm happy being in this space of mine and feel resolved. I get updates about friends (who really matter to me) from SNS which is a wonderful thing and also I involve myself offline more so that I get to hang out with those who have been an integral part of my life. As far as the rest of them is concerned I have happily let them go.It's not always possible to keep a friend closer to you just because you think s/he were close to you in the past but also someone who  has been a good friend may need more from you than just a 'comment' or 'like' on an SNS! There you go, it helps when you balance it out,staying connected is not about SNS always but may not be complete without that !!!!
 

I don't want to be normal

'Baazigar O Baazigar...Tu Hai Bada Jaadugar.....'  still gives me goosebumps !

 In the early 90s when this movie was released I was crazy about Shahrukh and every time I saw Kajol I always felt it was me. It was released in the year 1993 and I had just started my high-school, everything was new and exciting ( I guess teenage does that to everybody!). I had memorized the whole song (infact all the songs from this movie) and would sing as if I was meant to be in the song along with Shahrukh. This continued to be so till after DDLJ ( I guess it was released in 1995 and I was in the final year of my high school and couldn't wait to feel romantic) . Boy, I was sooooo into Sharukh that I would get very emotional every time I sang " .....tere pyaar pe kurbaan mera dil mera jaan,tujhe lag jaye meri umar!"  sounds a lot funny now but it felt differently back then. 

I have been the funny, weird,passionate,obsessive,possessive, rebellion and what not through out. I would always wear my heart on the sleeve and was not afraid or embarrassed to show what I really was. I remember not wearing any make-up or even a lip balm back then. I always wanted to look the way I was made. It has always been wash and wear look! I miss being that girl,immensely!Today I was watching 'Baazigar' again and the Kajol in that reminded me of myself. The fact that I still enjoy the songs and the movie,makes me believe that the girl I always was is still there inside me somewhere and I just  have to  make an effort to bring her back. I have added a lot of weight (....a LOT) and don't look the same as I was back then but I still feel the same.

Now almost 20 years later, I care about my looks ( I guess age does that to you ;-) ) and my body. What I wear ,how I look take a front seat over what I feel,what I want to do. Sometimes I wonder,what happened to THAT girl? Except that I stopped adoring Shahrukh,there's nothing else to feel proud about !!!! I'm not the same passionate me I used to be once. Sometimes I wonder if I have lost that passion or have chosen to be the mild goose. Why would I care what someone says (or comments on FB ;-)) or what I want them to say ? Not that my friends don't matter to me but my SELF matters more and I guess I should bring her back.

 If being mad is not normal then I don't want to be normal :-)