Khans Retention Act of India!

India is under immense pressure to come out as a more secular country now than it ever was before. Oh boy, the pressure is so much that our judiciary system decided to rule in favor of a Khan under the herculean pressure of Khans Retention Act of India! I guess we are so scared now that our other two khans seem to have one foot each out of the country, we might run out of khans to display just in case if UN decides to ask their growth plan in order to derive at their pre-determined notion. 

Actually we have other khans too but it's just that their value addition individually or put together stands no chance against each of these 3 magnanimous Khandaans. Let's consider couple of them for a moment at least and then silently in our prayers later! 

Firstly Nawaab, he's like phantom and I guess,that's why he chose to do that movie too. Nobody knows him, nobody's seen him but we hear his stories now and then. We even tried to show our secularism by awarding him with one of the highest civilian awards but miserably failed to convince our own conscience. He bombs his own box office future and I guess, that's why he doesn't have a chance to blame it on anything or anyone. 

By the time this Khan aka Lunchbox Khan, delivers a dialogue our women can deliver 10 Nana Patekars who speak faster than a local train. If our Mr.India was not part of a few US projects, this khan would have surely been the Tom Alter of Hollywood. Since he shares negative vibes with his other lunchbox co-star, he doesn't get to blame anyone outside of that secular zone. 

Who else? I guess the rest of them are still in PIP or Nawab reservation category. They might be either regrouped under downsizing population or get undue advantage of their category. But we would still run out of Khan Growth Chart parameters if not for the famous trio.

 Incidentally all the Khans of Bollywood are married to women who are not from Khan families except for the one who fortunately escaped a jail term. That makes me think if they are hinting their in-laws' behavior or venting it out just to prevent washing their linen in public. Whatever the rubbish but it played in favor of this guy who now, should uphold how secular India is and blow its trumpets.

Vasudaiva Kutumbakam or Khaandan Kutumbakam???? I'm ok either ways because I'm that secular ;-) Right back at you Khans!

Finger in my nose and it glitters all the way!

Once a while the bout of craziness pressurizes you to do something out of the blue.From having lived a freakishly crazy life full-time in your 20s, it narrows down to a rare attack for a day or two once in 3 or 6 months depending on your sanity level fluctuation in your 30s. 

 There was once a time when doing crazy was, to go for a long drive in the middle of the night, sleeping under the open sky on the rooftop or taking to trekking. Oh boy, there was once a time like that, hard to believe for us in 30s, isn't it? Now it boils down to 'unfriend'ing someone you no longer want to put up with, eating a chocolate in the middle of the night or it may get as crazy as going to bed without brushing your teeth in the night. Oh boy, these are unbelievable too but not for 30s people!

Having two kids impacts your sanity levels to a greater extent and the crazy attack can get kinkier sometime like, it happened to me after Neil. Suddenly I decided to get a tattoo and got two of them when he was close to turning 1. Now that Aara is about to turn 1 in a few weeks, I felt the same rush and decided to get my nose pierced! Imagine, a woman who's about to be exactly middle aged in a couple of weeks soon after Aara turns 1, decided to pierce her buffalo skinned nose for some joy not known to anybody. Yeahhh, how crazy is that???!!!!!

Now, I had got my nose pierced twice before when I was in 20s and the gun-shot piercing with silver studs but somehow didn't do any good although the pain is less compared to the manual piercing. So, guess what? The full-of-joy-me decided to get it done in that old fashioned way to commemorate a decade of togetherness but 10 days in advance. As it happened, yesterday my husband was bitten by the same crazy bug that had bitten me a few days ago and he decided to take me to a Goldsmith. Oh my, it gets more interesting hereafter. 

 My goldsmith promised me that the pain would be 50% less if a local anesthetic gel was applied on the nose 15 mins before piercing it. I sat down in a corner of the jewelry shop on a Sunday evening when the business was in full swing, getting ready to display my adventurous side to everyone in plain view. When he handed me over the tube , I asked my husband to cover me from the crowd as I was asked to apply it over the nose and on the inside too and so he did. 

Now imagine, I'm sitting in a corner of the shop, on a stool facing away from all the people who were entering. I squeeze the gel onto my index finger and rub a little on my nose. Then I squeeze some more and start applying it on the inside. I looked up with my index finger inside my nose and what do I find??? Alas, there was a cctv right where I was looking and I still had my finger inside my nose. I'm not a 6 year old, not anymore that is, and I had my finger up my nose. When I pulled it out, my god , did it look nasty? I kept thinking about the guy who would watch that tape later or live,that exact moment while pulling my finger out of my nose. I tried to lessen my burden by sharing my embarrassment with my husband but he was no where to be found and my cover was blown! I'm sure that's not what I wanted to display in HD quality.

Sooner than later it occurred to me, 'you know what? joke is on that guy who is going to watch that tape or may be watching live'! Now imagine, if that unlucky person had a piece of roti in his hand and he had just dipped it in daal. What would his thoughts be when he pulled it out and about to put it in his mouth. I guess he might swear not to watch live or watch the tape while having his food or worse, he might get reminded of it every time he dipped his roti in daal.

Well, allz well that ends well. My husband got back after buying a nose stud for me and handed it over to the goldsmith. He sharpened the tip and pressed it hard on my nose where he had marked earlier and kept pressing until it made its way through my skin tearing it and came from the other end. The pain was 50% less alright but I'm scared to even imagine what could be 50% more than that!

 I was happy with the fact that it was done finally and looked into the mirror teary eyed. The stud on my nose shone and looked glittery through my welled up eyes. I wiped my tears to make my vision clear and looked into the mirror again but the glitter didn't fade, it looked even brighter. My husband whispered from over my shoulders 'It's diamond and I hope it's worth the pain' !