Am I carefree ?!

" Uh,you should be carefree..." couple of my friends told me with a lot of pain. Some of my friends(women) delivered babies around the same time as I did and that laid the foundation for a strong friendship for another decade.This simply means that we are going to talk a lot now(more often than not) due to common topics. During one such conversation,couple of them told me I wouldn't need to worry at all as I have a boy(son)(according to them only girls need to develop a good behavior/character).

I wonder how much I would care about public opinion/approval on my child's behavior/character and how does it differ between sexes.It doesn't mean I have nothing to worry about,there are a few though slightly different than the regular ones.

I fear,

My son's first bike.
Breaking his thoughts of first imaginary friend.
His first day to school away from comfort zone.
His first match (sports).
His first accident.
His first affair.
His first break-up.
His first stay-over night out.
His first beer session.
His first hangover.
His first interview.
His first job/pink-slip exit.
......................
......................
Many more.............

Who says those with Sons are carefree ????????????

He said “U R NOT MY BETTER HALF ANYMORE! “

I’m sure it happens to most of the women especially if their moms are like mine. I don’t get to eat anything fried in oil but everything soaked in ghee! A few days after I came to my mom’s place, one of the neighbors told my mom that the nearby grocery shops were running short of ghee for some reason. I could see my mom smiling sheepishly and soon after the conversation she hurried inside and told my dad to book for some more ghee as soon as possible as everybody in the neighborhood were waiting for the stock to arrive.

The vegetable/fruit vendors have started gathering outside all time expecting mom to buy stuff every day. Last evening we received a call from a wholesale dealer asking if we needed food items, he also offered discounts! Since mom has bought food stuff in large quantity and has exceeded the store room capacity, it has occupied kitchen as well and therefore now the cooking takes place in the living room. As there’s no space for the visitors in the living room we have moved to the parking.

That’s not it. When I go for a walk in the evening, the pharmacy guys smile and ask fondly if I need any medicine and say it would be all right to pay later as well. My 500mg medicines have done the magic here. Also the baby shop guys call to update us with the new stuff around in the market!

My mom is happy that her care is helping me recover fast and her grandson is all doing well. She doesn’t bother whether the vendors form a line or wholesale dealers make phone calls. She feels nice to be in demand. When my hubby came over to my mom’s place for a visit, all he said was “You are not my better half anymore” and why wouldn’t he say that? If he wasn’t body builder types I probably would look bigger than him but now I only look just as big as him. But my mom is never happy; she said “Ayyo, she’s hardly put on any weight. Wait for couple of more months and then she would look better.” I whispered to my hubby “Take me home soon!”

Spring of ‘09

I owe a lot to all the channels and reality shows that have helped me build a lot of patience (waiting for the results at the end of each episode) and my unpreparedness for any early results. My final countdown hadn’t zeroed down and I had no clue it would happen 2 weeks in advance. It was the first day of New Year, Ugadi and as I had mentioned in one of my previous posts it was the time when first flowers started to bloom and leaves turned green.

I didn’t know the day was going to mean the same to me, beginning of new life .I ignored the hints as I wasn’t feeling that great on Friday and I was feeling bad for not celebrating the festival which was one of my favorite occasions. I spent the entire day struggling to feel good and to make my hubby feel better but as the day passed it got even worse. We decided to visit the hospital around 10pm.I was still unaware of the fact that my Ugadi celebrations, though late had begun by then.

I was confirmed of labor pain which was a much unnamed feeling I was going through till then. I had to wait till 3:43pm next day to welcome the first flower of my womb. Thanks to my hubby who stayed with me in the labor and I appreciate his patience and bravery who took all the hits, bites and pinches from me and silently went through more pain looking at me than I actually did till they said I had to get operated on to get the baby out.

I hardly remember signing on a paper which was followed by some group talks. I was moved here and there for some time and then for couple of minutes there was no pain absolutely and in no fraction of time there was somebody who was calling out my name to show a tiny little pink thing holding in hands and asking me to confirm the sex of the baby. Soon after that I was shifted to a stretcher and first thing I saw was the sight of my hubby and his first words were ‘It’s Neil’ (we had decided the names before hand as any enthu parents). I can never forget my hubby’s overwhelmed brightly lit-up face. We have another boxer in the family now!

And this is how my spring began this year. It has actually renewed all the aspects of my life and I believe that’s the magic of spring

Slumdog - Life's Like That!

There is a guy who is from a descent family and he works hard to acquire knowledge.He participates in a quiz competition and wins a lot of money.How does this appeal to us as audience ? There's no glorification of poverty,it doesn't display ugly India to the rest of the world and it narrates a story too.Do we like it? No way,I don't.It is very well expected and it doesn't require any onscreen narration.

Now there comes a boy from the slum who has not had a good upbringing and has no desire to participate in any such competition but still wins millions though the chances of him having learnt those answers in the past are very less or may be none.Now here I wonder,why people make such a big issue out of slumdog being used as a channel to show ugly India(which according to them either doesn't exist or feel shy to expose) glorifying poverty. Here's an young boy whose only intention is to meet his childhood sweetheart inspite of knowing whatever she has gone through.He's taught by life,he recollects the incidents how he came to learn the answers for the questions being asked.

The author(very much Indian) of the Novel Q and A (which is now changed to slumdog after the movie) Vikas Swarup could not have added any luxury or shown wealthy India when he's describing the fate of a slumdog.This unusual possibility has,probably attracted Danny Boyle to invest his creative brilliance to make a movie. A person with art and creativity has no boundaries and he doesn't have to have his masterpieces restricted to geography.Would people be happy if Ka Jos luxurious movies with one Karva Chouth and many Diwalis had won Oscars or how about the south movies with many avtars or one man fighting the entire village had won awards???? Jack was a slumdog in Titanic and it won just as many awards,so why don't people say it was ugly America shown.Has expression of creativity also become a crime now-a-days ?

What do you want to show to the world and why ? We have shown our magicians,music maestros,best actors.We even have these talented ones like Shabana Azmi who teach at foreign film institutes.What's important for us ? To show we are not ugly or to prove we are not ugly.If we go through the history of Academy awards (in the order of # of Oscar Awards won),

1. Ben-Hur (1959) - 11
2. Titanic (1997) - 11
3. West Side Story (1961) - 10
4. Gigi (1958) - 9
5. The Last Emperor (1987) - 9
6. The English Patient (1996) - 9
7. Gone With The Wind (1939) - 8
8. From Here To Eternity (1953) - 8
9. On The Waterfront (1954) - 8
10. My Fair Lady (1964) - 8
11. Cabaret (1972) - 8
12. Gandhi (1982) - 8
13. Amadeus (1984) - 8
14. All of the above won for the story and not because of some representation.

I liked it,it shows the best thing about life which is something like this,' Experience is a hard teacher.She gives the test before teaching lessons' and the lessons learnt that way are too difficult to be forgotten.One more thing about the movie I like is,the young man and his unconditional love for the young lady and his dedication to find her.

I like singing/humming 'Jai Ho' ........ it changed quite a lot of things and Life's Like That !

Statutory Warning: Adult Content - Go Multiply !

Indeed,I was not sure if I had to tag this post of mine with a statutory warning 'Adult Content' as I felt like using all sorts of words for those who under the name of moral policing tried to control other human beings called WOMEN by using a method called Molestation.I guess I should just add the word 'Moral Policing' under beep words in the dictionary of sensible people.

When those leaders apologised for the methods used by their activists but stood by the intentions behind it,said they gave the status of mother to women.I ask them,who are they to GIVE any status to anybody? How qualified are they to reward women with some status or titles ? Is their only qualification being born as Men ???!!!

This guy,one of the readers of TOI's blog, has left a comment appreciating the intentions but disapproving the act.He says(copied as it is) 'Hindu women is not expected to indulge in entering a place(he means PUB and not loo) meant for only gents and behaving unbecoming of the stature of a respected Hindu ladies.and taking drinks on par with gents.' Do we,women want to be rewarded by men like this one,what are we....crazy or stupid? Have we ever said we have set Men as a standard to compare ourselves with? Is there something called Intellectual Thought Process left in these kind of people?

I don't feel any need for these independent bodies who establish themselves as fungus causing a threat to the hygiene of the society.As I come to the end of the post,I feel a lot calmer than when I started writing it.So now I can simply use a decent word and say 'Go Multiply,you guys '.I have used this phrase in one of my previous blog posts but again I want to use it here,these men give me a complex.........a SUPERIORITY complex.

I'm the reason for spreading a healthy habit !!

Does it come as a little surprise when men surrounded by women hesitate to look up/at them and enjoy ????? Well,not to me anymore. I witnessed this kind of act when I went for my doctor's visit.Yes,it was the gynecology/Obstetrics department and all the expectant mothers were lined up waiting for their turn to visit the doc.

Men accompanying most of the women had put their head down and were trying hard to concentrate on something on the floor.Since I couldn't locate anything interesting on the floor,I asked my hubby what were those men doing.He said "They are embarrassed to hold their head high and straight". I asked him for the reason to which he said " They might have thought they had done the biggest manly thing which is manifesting in this form to show the entire world their power as a man but after coming here they might have found out that any Tom-Dick & Harry could do that".I didn't get what he said (as I'm too innocent to understand all that) but I nodded my head in agreement.

As we reached there,my hubby went in the direction of pharmacy to get a bottle of water and I went in the direction where people were lined up for check-up.As I found some place next to a man I sat down almost at the same time he got up and rushed his way.Upon my hubby's return,I told him what happened and asked him " Why would he rush like that? He went no where but across the hall to find some place and sit down?" My hubby looked at my tummy and said " My dear,this is one of those times people don't want to be recognised for someone else's deeds."

Trust me,these doctor visits help women break their shells and have a open mind towards so many things which we wouldn't experience otherwise.They exchange a large amount of information and become friends by the end of gestation period.I have heard them discuss about their hard work,pre and post actions,planned and unplanned results (some had twins inside),their first few consultations and the questions they were asked,etc.What I learnt from my visits?? Well, it's Patience,waiting outside the loo in the gynecology department every time I felt like visiting it as all expectant mothers would repeat the action many number of times during the entire time period.

One good things is,my doctor visit gives me a lot of time to finish either a book or at least a chapter depending on my token number and now my hubby started following my footsteps (reading the book and nothing else) too :) I'm the reason for spreading a healthy habit,rite?

The otherside of me...!

Generally,I don't follow the TAG rules.If I get tagged I ignore it.But this friend of mine made it really interesting for me and I took it up.Again,not following all the rules he put forth (he knows me too well to stop me from doing it) but, I'm following only first 3 of the 5 rules,which are,

1. Link the person who tagged you
2. Mention the rules on your blog
3. Tell 6 unspectacular quirks of yours

Here I am,unfolding the other side of me before you all :

1. Maintenance (Housekeeping):I'm very particular about this one.I don't like things being moved to other place. If I keep the masala (spice) box on the right side of the stove,it should always be kept there though I don't have a reason why shouldn't it be moved.

2. Buying Pickles: I have to buy a bottle of pickle every time I go out for grocery shopping.We replaced our refrigerator with a 340 Lt one as the place was not sufficient inside and now other than the vegetable and fruit cabinets,rest is taken over by bottle of pickles.

3. Correcting people: I have this tendency to correct people if they use wrong pronounciations or make wrong sentences (be it in any language,as long as I know I correct them).It's not that I'm perfect but if I notice somebody is not,then I get to them(to be precise, I get on their nerves).Most of the time,it's my hubby and I wonder why he speaks very less of late.I even corrected a sales girl at this shop when she was mispronouncing 'lingerie'.

4. Flair for change : Except for friends and family,I like to keep changing most of the things.I keep changing not only my hairdo,wardrobe,cell phones and also email IDs,blog addresses,telephone numbers.Yeah,it sounds crazy but it's true.

5. Pre-requisite to reading : Before I take up a book for reading,I need to have a bookmark handy.I buy more number bookmarks than the books.I hate when people fold the corner of the page to mark where they left it at.So I pick up a bookmark and then look for what I want to read.There were times,when I was at college my friends used to gift me with dozens of bookmarks on all the occasions.I must admit most of them were unique and artistic and I still have them all.

6. Setting the clock : I set all my clocks ahead of time but not to the same time. The difference in time should be at least 5 mins from one clock to another.I know it's insane but that makes me feel I still have time to get ready or complete my work.My kitchen,living room,bed room,study room and my wrist watch all are set to different time and so is the clock on my computer.I even remember setting it to a different time zone on my system to check how funny could it get.My friends found me funnier than what I felt about my own act.

It's only so much so far(to disclose) and I'm glad this friend of mine limited writing to only 6 of them.Otherwise I wouldn't have had any other side but this one :)