I began to believe that 'Raj' was actually a big jerk !!!!

" Na jaane mere dil ko kya ho gaya....." was playing on my system which brought back a train of thoughts. The movie DDLJ was released in 1995 and all the songs were instant hits.  I loved all the songs the very first time, it was like love at first sight !!! There are many such songs which have been my favorites,like 'Churaliya liya hai tumne jo dil ko', ' Gulabi Aanken Jo teri Dekhi....','Aise na mujhe tum deho seene se laga loonga...','Tum bin jao kahan...' and the likes but even today it's a new feeling everytime I listen  to any of those songs. I will tell you why !

       Back when I was in 8th Standard or before that I would love the music but I started enjoying the lyrics only a year after that when I 'graduated' to second year in high school. The blooming season had begun already and everything had a new meaning from thereon. Like the girls of my age, I would blush very frequently. I had begun to respond differently everytime I listened to the male voice singing  ' Sajavoonga lutkar bhi tere badan ke daali ko,lahoo jigar ka doonga tere hoton ke laali ko....'  When I recall the moments, it feels like someone totally not me ! That was the time everything had a meaning the way I understood. Being 'that' girl from small town with a dream of making it big in one way or the other had other dreams too. Like all small town girls I believed that my big love story was also in store for me and it also included a Raj. Oh my ! Sometimes I wonder, was I really that naive?  

     And then during my graduation, I began to believe that 'Raj' was actually a big jerk because he never showed up. 'Aise na mujhe tum dekho....' never actually ended in 'seene se laga loonga' and I started believing that my 'Gulabi aankhen...'  wasn't so influential to make someone alcoholic!!!!! And then I ended up with ' Tum bin jao kahan?" .Ha Ha ....yeah real fun ! 

One night I fell asleep on my bed reading 'Bloodline' which was bought from a used books shop with the little money I had saved. That night I dreamed I was getting married in a church to a tall,dark,handsome man with curly hair.( Next morning I shared this with my roommate and she made sure to remind me of that the day I married my TDH with curly hair). The dream had nothing to do with the book I was reading but I still believe Rhys Williams greatly influenced my thoughts from there on. From that moment there was no Raj but only Rhys !!!!!

       Since then the context has been changing as and when I switch phases.Earlier in my teenage or even in  my 20s, I would love movies or lead men who would imply things as it let the women (me) believe what they(I) wanted to believe. But now, in my 30+, I enjoy watching men who are more straight forward.( They don't keep their women waiting like Raj :-o) Someone who don't beat around the bush and becomes the man his woman likes him to be. I guess I have moved on to someone like Robinhood or Gladiator !!!!! 

Yes, I'm hard core romantic but my taste keeps changing as I get older, wiser and happier !!!

P.S: I still love all those songs :-)