I'm not a great scholar , I guess everyone knows though I got my nerves now to admit it but now and then I get an opportunity or two to make myself feel above some people :-p I'm sure all of us know how heavenly it feels :-D.....hehehehhe wicked me ;-)
Recently I visited an old friend of mine who has moved to the city after almost a decade. Being single has its ups and downs,just like people with family do but a lot different.....atleast that's what I realized after speaking to him. It started with the type of coffee we were having !!!!
He: " Look,what's happened to me! It's terrible. Till last couple of months I didn't even need to know how I liked my coffee and now....oh gosh!"
I : " Hmmmmm,that's truly terrible to realize what we like....:-p"
He: " Make fun all you want, but that's the tragedy of my life. As long as I had 'Her' in my life I never needed to know myself. You know it's so hard to get over someone who was so very special to you and suddenly decides to marry someone else and moves to the other side of the ocean !"
That was a sensitive moment and I didn't want to talk just anything and hurt him even more but as a friend of 2 decades I had to do what I had to. I felt he needed a friend so without further delay I donned the hat !
I : " She sure was some girl. I wonder what transpired inside her head to take a decision like that. I'm sure there's someone for everyone,if not exclusive ;-) (I tried to humor him but it didn't work. He just shrugged).You say she was very special to you,don't you? No chance someone else could be that special again? "
He: " Not even close. " ( His voice was very clear).
I : " And why is that? why is she so special?"
He: " I don't know? Why does someone feel special? It's a feeling. You know that, you are married to someone who's made you feel special. It's ...you know the moments or instances...I don't know."
I kept quiet for a while. I didn't want to brag about how my husband made me feel special and how did we end up together. I was looking for plan B but I was determined to make him realize why he lost his lady love. Why was I so sure? I had spoken to her on many occasions and I knew how she felt !!!
Before I could start with my stammers, to my big relief he continued !!!
He: " For the 5 years we knew of each other, she would always be the first one to wish me on my b'day at midnight. Sometimes she would even send over the flowers or little gifts. And the last year she didn't remember to wish me !!! She would always drop by when I was feeling low. You know, whenever I came back from my trips the moment I switched on the phone,it would ring. Dunno for how long she would have tried to reach me to make sure I landed safe. She would listen to my frustrations and whatever office stories I had to blurt out.....Oh god! Feels like I have lost a pair of ears !!!! "
I : " Whatever I'm going to say next will not make you feel any better but I must say this....you had a beautiful special friend. And I'm sorry you lost her. "
I truly was sorry. Big gifts or PDAs don't really matter as much as the little things,in life. It's very hard to get someone who knows your every pulse. It's a big loss !
I : " I'm sure she misses it too dear. Of course you must have done the same things to her too..."
He : " well.....not really !!! I in fact didn't even know her b'day and I always thought I didn't have to remember it as long as I have the social networking sites to tell me. I know it's horrible but please don't judge me."
I : " I won't,who am I to judge. Did you tell her how you felt about her wishes and gifts and her being there always? "
He: " See, that's another thing. I never did. I had so many female friends , and this one was always there no matter others stayed or not. So...it's not that I took her for granted but it never occurred to me. I was not focused, I guess!"
I : " Then why do you worry now? So all in all, SHE was not special to you but she made YOU feel very special....to her ! Correct me if I'm wrong, you never made an attempt to make her feel special,never dropped something very big or even silly event just to be her side? never stopped caring about your cell phone when you were with her? Never remembered her big day? never brought her flowers or books??? Nothing???? Did you at least tell her how much you waited for her calls on your b'day or whenever you said she would call to hear from you? You mean, she made all the efforts to make you feel special and you never even appreciated it ,forget making HER feel special? And now you worry, she forgot your b'day last year or she got married to someone else and moved away??? "
There I said it all, I made my point. He didn't say anything. It's not that he was ignorant of these things, I guess he needed to hear it from someone who knows him well to help him accept what he had done !
I wonder why people do this. I have seen many who do the same mistake and end up miserable mostly blaming it on the people who left them. How do you make someone feel special to you? Pay attention !!! Simple,isn't it? why is it so hard? I feel sorry for this friend of mine who lost a lady like her. I guess it's the mind set of people, when someone showers you with lot of attention you tried to take them for granted or feel less important. But I know some, who are really lucky to have realized what they want !!!!
Anyway, this is not the episode that made me feel better, I guess I started to write something else but turned out something else. Man, I need to focus here !!!!!
Recently I visited an old friend of mine who has moved to the city after almost a decade. Being single has its ups and downs,just like people with family do but a lot different.....atleast that's what I realized after speaking to him. It started with the type of coffee we were having !!!!
He: " Look,what's happened to me! It's terrible. Till last couple of months I didn't even need to know how I liked my coffee and now....oh gosh!"
I : " Hmmmmm,that's truly terrible to realize what we like....:-p"
He: " Make fun all you want, but that's the tragedy of my life. As long as I had 'Her' in my life I never needed to know myself. You know it's so hard to get over someone who was so very special to you and suddenly decides to marry someone else and moves to the other side of the ocean !"
That was a sensitive moment and I didn't want to talk just anything and hurt him even more but as a friend of 2 decades I had to do what I had to. I felt he needed a friend so without further delay I donned the hat !
I : " She sure was some girl. I wonder what transpired inside her head to take a decision like that. I'm sure there's someone for everyone,if not exclusive ;-) (I tried to humor him but it didn't work. He just shrugged).You say she was very special to you,don't you? No chance someone else could be that special again? "
He: " Not even close. " ( His voice was very clear).
I : " And why is that? why is she so special?"
He: " I don't know? Why does someone feel special? It's a feeling. You know that, you are married to someone who's made you feel special. It's ...you know the moments or instances...I don't know."
I kept quiet for a while. I didn't want to brag about how my husband made me feel special and how did we end up together. I was looking for plan B but I was determined to make him realize why he lost his lady love. Why was I so sure? I had spoken to her on many occasions and I knew how she felt !!!
Before I could start with my stammers, to my big relief he continued !!!
He: " For the 5 years we knew of each other, she would always be the first one to wish me on my b'day at midnight. Sometimes she would even send over the flowers or little gifts. And the last year she didn't remember to wish me !!! She would always drop by when I was feeling low. You know, whenever I came back from my trips the moment I switched on the phone,it would ring. Dunno for how long she would have tried to reach me to make sure I landed safe. She would listen to my frustrations and whatever office stories I had to blurt out.....Oh god! Feels like I have lost a pair of ears !!!! "
I : " Whatever I'm going to say next will not make you feel any better but I must say this....you had a beautiful special friend. And I'm sorry you lost her. "
I truly was sorry. Big gifts or PDAs don't really matter as much as the little things,in life. It's very hard to get someone who knows your every pulse. It's a big loss !
I : " I'm sure she misses it too dear. Of course you must have done the same things to her too..."
He : " well.....not really !!! I in fact didn't even know her b'day and I always thought I didn't have to remember it as long as I have the social networking sites to tell me. I know it's horrible but please don't judge me."
I : " I won't,who am I to judge. Did you tell her how you felt about her wishes and gifts and her being there always? "
He: " See, that's another thing. I never did. I had so many female friends , and this one was always there no matter others stayed or not. So...it's not that I took her for granted but it never occurred to me. I was not focused, I guess!"
I : " Then why do you worry now? So all in all, SHE was not special to you but she made YOU feel very special....to her ! Correct me if I'm wrong, you never made an attempt to make her feel special,never dropped something very big or even silly event just to be her side? never stopped caring about your cell phone when you were with her? Never remembered her big day? never brought her flowers or books??? Nothing???? Did you at least tell her how much you waited for her calls on your b'day or whenever you said she would call to hear from you? You mean, she made all the efforts to make you feel special and you never even appreciated it ,forget making HER feel special? And now you worry, she forgot your b'day last year or she got married to someone else and moved away??? "
There I said it all, I made my point. He didn't say anything. It's not that he was ignorant of these things, I guess he needed to hear it from someone who knows him well to help him accept what he had done !
I wonder why people do this. I have seen many who do the same mistake and end up miserable mostly blaming it on the people who left them. How do you make someone feel special to you? Pay attention !!! Simple,isn't it? why is it so hard? I feel sorry for this friend of mine who lost a lady like her. I guess it's the mind set of people, when someone showers you with lot of attention you tried to take them for granted or feel less important. But I know some, who are really lucky to have realized what they want !!!!
Anyway, this is not the episode that made me feel better, I guess I started to write something else but turned out something else. Man, I need to focus here !!!!!
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