One's life is one's right to do things!

After having accepted that I'm socially challenged, I have started making attempts at overcoming my handicapped self. You know how they say, you first have to accept the problem to fix it. So, here I am. I decided to test waters by interacting with one of the housekeeping women since I thought that was the level 0 but what I didn't know till then was , there was no level 0. I guess I'm like Po, I set standards as I roll on. Well, there's a happy thought that I'm like the Kung Fu Panda except, the fact that I also have the same sized belly as him but I guess I should remind myself about looking at the silver lining only.

I spoke to this woman casually, asking about her family and kids. She said she didn't have any kids yet, so I apologized for asking. She didn't seem to mind, instead, she said it's only natural that people ask and she gets asked many times. I felt good about making an attempt to know people around. Then I guess it was too soon to conclude. She then looked at my little girl in the pram and said that she was very cute and that everyone should have daughters as they are the reincarnation of Goddess Lakshmi. I reacted in haste and told her that I didn't like the comparison even a tad bit. It's not fair to little girls when people pin down their expectations on them or blame them for ill fate.

I have always felt that 'the Lakhsmi is born' is not a compliment. It's belittling to women of all age. Why are girls money banks to the homes they are born in or to the homes they might step into later. Have you ever heard people say 'Kubera is born' when little boys take birth? It's always 'It's a boyyyy." So why can't it be just 'It's a girrrrrl'? Anything else sounds like you are consoling yourself for having given birth to a girl. That's my opinion and I meant to explain it to her but when I looked at her grin and blink at the same time, I realized that my intent was lost in transit. So I closed my mouth which was ready to present my case and chose to smile before moving on.

 That same day when I came down for my night walk, I overheard her telling her fellow housekeeping woman that 'this madam doesn't like that her second child is a girl.' I rolled my eyes silently and turned on the Bluetooth on my phone and head phone. Just before I pressed play I bumped into a fellow walker who had told me that she was into literature and stuff. She asked me what was wrong that I was rolling my eyes. 
I said  " Looks like I have contracted foot and mouth disease." 
She responded in disbelief "Just how?". 
I thought pun was intended so I chose to reply "I have been putting my foot in my mouth of late and hence the foot and mouth disease." 
"Oh God, that's so disgusting. Why would you do that? Stop before your kids pick up that habit." She spoke looking aghast.
"I guess I should." With that, I pressed the play button on my phone and took off after waving to her.

It often makes me think that there's some problem with me. Otherwise why would I find it hard to make small talk or make friends in the neighborhood. I guess I have an unnamed phobia, or they just might name it after me! I made an attempt again. I spoke to that fellow walker again on another night when I could muster a little courage and some confidence. She was sad for some reason and I didn't know if I could ask or not. I was in a dilemma. I took a decent approach "Is everything ok?" She seemed to take it well, in fact she answered enthusiastically "With me, ok but with the world, not ok." I didn't know how to respond to that. "Why would you say that?" I asked. 

Before she answered, a young girl went past in her car, driving out of the premises and waved at my fellow walker. She waved back promptly with a big smile. She spoke even before her wave died out. "Look at this Prathyusha, she got pregnant and she's not even married." Now, how would one respond to a comment like that? I wasn't just wondering, I was seriously asking if anybody knew what to do, inside my head. "Welll Di, everyone has their lifestyle, you know. One's life is one's right to do things." She replied immediately to what I said. "Then why would she commit suicide?" Now I was speechless. I wanted to get to the bottom of it now. "Who Di? You just waved at her. You mean she attempted suicide, not died, right?" She laughed at my ignorance of things. " Come on Geetha, I don't know this girl's name. She stays in the flat next to mine and we wave now and then. I'm talking about the TV serial actress Prathyusha Bannerjee. She, ofcourse, died. It was in the newspapers too, didn't you read that?" She laughed again at my stupidity and lack of knowledge about worldly affairs. I nodded, smiling sheepishly !!!!!

I feel like a fool but I'm not going to give up just yet. While I was too full with how people don't get me crap,I have realized now that it's how other people might feel too. I've decided to make an effort to understand what one is saying without interrupting with my views and opinions. It's possible for all types of people to co-exist if you just be patient and suppress your urge to keep explaining yourself every time. 

My six sigma project has just taken off and to begin with I have found the top 10, most popular TV serials, that people watch here in my neighborhood after, carefully completing my census with most of them. I have hatched a plan to join the sorority sisters in a way that's approved by them, there by overcoming my social awkwardness. Now even if there's a re-run of 'The people Vs OJ Simpson' or Downton Abbey or the likes, I still switch to browse Colors, Sony, Zee, Star or the likes. Now my next important lesson is to stop sighing before switching the channels. 

P.S: Tips are welcome